pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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