I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
