READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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