Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
