i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize