I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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