even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
