And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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