so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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