Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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