I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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