its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
