ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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