I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
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Actions speak louder than pants.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
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I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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