: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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