I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
