You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
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he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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