being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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