You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize