Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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