she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
FUCK WHALES
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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