I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I just blew my weed a kiss
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
