Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged