Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
either way he was missing a nipple.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens