I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.