No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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