someone owes me an orgasm
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
