You can't motorboat a personality
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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