I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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