Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize