Your mouth is God's brothel.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
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His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
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Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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