Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
