Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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