This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
