I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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