He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
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Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
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i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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