Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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