Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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