he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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