I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Randomize
