p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
