My nipple is on Facebook.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
