Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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