You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
