On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize