Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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