i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
