Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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