I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
