i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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