Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Its about making memories worth repressing
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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