Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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