So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
