Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
