you're like a bully in the Christmas story
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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