At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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