I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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