probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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