I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
