I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
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We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
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Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
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