Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
