Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
