Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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