i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
