Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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