is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
