Will you blow on my dice?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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