dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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