I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
